Thursday, September 29, 2011

Things you know if you have a SMLE

It was last cleaned by a soldier somewhere in the British Empire

You want to emulate Alfred Snoxall, but you're not quite there yet.

Your rifle has a detachable magazine. It's awkward and hard to use. You just reload with chargers. For some reason you have this idea that the designers of this rifle hated you.

The safety is awkward and hard to use. Now you really think the designers of this rifle hated you.

You can get a canvas sling or a leather sling.

Your bayonet is a sword in its own right.

You like to repeat stories about the “Mad Minute.” You're not quite there yet, though.

When you run out of ammo, you use your 1907 pattern sword bayonet.

Tommy didn't complain about recoil. Neither should you.

You have volley sights that you've actually tried.

Your rifle was used by Tommies to kill fuzzy wuzzies. Also by Canadians.

Your rifle oppressed some fuzzy wuzzies that didn't actually have rifles and the Irish.

You paid $125 for the Indian copy.

You're lucky if you can find surplus Pakistani ammo that doesn't shoot.

You call your bayonet a “pig sticker.”

Service life: longer than smokeless powder has been around.

You have both variants that fire the 7.62 nato round.

You'd consider it a badge of honor if you could beat Sergeant Snoxall's record.

After a long day at the range, you relax by watching Zulu and pointing the SMLE's.

After cleaning your rifle, you have the urge for fish and chips.

You accessorize your rifle with the Pattern 1907 bayonet, the pig sticker, chargers, and extra bolt heads.

Your rifle's finish is black stove paint.

You made a pilgrimage to the Royal Small Arms Factory in Enfield.

Late at night, you fight the urge to oppress fuzzy wuzzies.

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